Love after love
Our expert from Annerley, Hulda Thorey gets real with us and points out that romance can be hard to come by after baby arrives. Understandably, you probably won’t be able to take your eyes of your new bubba, but your relationship with your S.O. shouldn’t have to take a back burner either. Hulda shares a few helpful tips to keeping the romance alive and just in time for Valentine’s Day as well!
Maintain your friendship in the relationship
Make sure that your discussions don’t all become baby related but that you keep the spark going with interesting discussion, laughter and what brought you together in the first place. A short dinner (if the baby is born) or an early dinner (if you’re tired and pregnant), before a massage at home may be a perfect evening for both of you.
Share the load
Sleep, or lack of it can really have such bad effects. Many parents are exhausted just after birth and the weeks that follow. Help and companionship in the chores around the baby can then be valuable. It can also be romantic, to share the duties and it shows love and respect for each other to mutually participate in what needs to be done.
Of course if your partner needs to work during the day time, it is not very fair that he/she has to be up often during the night, after all, the one that stays at home can nap during the day, but on the weekends and days where there is no work, doing it together might bring you more together. It is quite romantic to share in the loving and taking care of a baby.
Unless you have bleeding, an infection, or repeated miscarriage, sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe. Just select the most comfortable position. Lubricant is key especially for sex after birth. Hormones that affect the lubrication of the vagina when you’re breastfeeding are often not very helpful for the sex life. It is usually safe to have sex after 3 – 6 weeks after baby has arrived. But many women (and their partners) are not ready until 2 – 4 months later. Finding the time and the right atmosphere is important. And most importantly, keep working on those Kegel exercises!
Keep the humour
During pregnancy, the awkwardness of the belly, restricted movements, the man feeling scared about “touching” the baby’s head, the fear of the birth starting… and after birth: How the body has changed, the milk leaking from the breasts, contraception issues, the baby sounds, the MIL in the next room… – come on people, you’ve got to laugh a little too. It will all become normal again soon.
Happy Valentine’s Day, mamas!