One of the questions that we’re most frequently asked here at Sassy Mama is “why don’t you have any dads writing for you?” “Good question!” we thought, so we decided to invite one man to contribute his thoughts on impending fatherhood. So if you’ve ever wondered what he’s really thinking about bumps, bunnies and bouts of morning sickness, read on…
This blog should probably be called “Daddy-to-be Diaries” because my wife is only 12 weeks along. But as my own father reminded me the other day, life begins at conception – so technically, I am a dad!
The blog czars chose the name ‘Daddy Diaries’ and – in true czar fashion – have decreed that I document the pregnancy from now until “birthing time” (hypnobirth-speak for the due date, but more on that in a future post). Maybe after I have established myself as a Sassy Mama guest contributor, the powers that be will show some mercy and let me come up with a name of my own, like “Breaking Dad”, “Foetal Attraction” or something similarly witty.
My lovely wife (let’s call her B) and I have been married for two years but have known each other for almost ten. I am a few years older than her and have been lobbying for kids since day one, but she managed to fend me off until recently. It’s something we have been talking about for ages so when she was late a few months back we were very excited. She was in such a tizzy that she bought four tests and even after they all came out positive still insisted on a trip to the gyno and an early scan which showed what looked like a jellybean before accepting that she was with child.
So that’s how it all began; now here we are. Hopefully these entries will provide some light entertainment and interesting info for you and prove therapeutic for me…
A couple of weeks ago, after squirming out of a hug that was apparently making her uncomfortably hot, B looked me in the eye and in a soft but serious tone uttered the words “Baby, I’m different now.” My first reaction was that this must be a new and quite convincing excuse to escape my clutches, but I have since learned that hot and cold flashes (which conveniently coincide with my attempts at intimacy) are just the tip of the iceberg.
As well as all the changes that I was aware of (but completely unprepared for) like nausea, mood swings, fatigue etc., I have noticed a behavioural transformation which conventional literature refers to as “nesting syndrome”, but which I am calling nestfulness (trademark pending).
From my experience with it, this “condition” does not deserve the label syndrome, which makes it sound like a disease and conjures up all kinds of negative associations; irritable bowel syndrome, Stockholm syndrome, stickler syndrome (look it up). While there are some elements of nestfulness that can be a PITA, overall I am a big fan and to be honest I find B über-attractive when she is being nestful, which I suppose is part of the “glow” that Mother Nature uses to remind us how much we love our wives during pregnancy.
A few common signs of nestfulness include:
Bouts of obsessive cleaning and organising.
I LOVE this because getting pre-preggers B to tidy up or clean the closet was not an easy task. This OCD-esque symptom was more pronounced in the first few weeks of pregnancy, and at one point I thought every drawer and closet in the house would be reorganised, but unfortunately it has subsided a bit in recent weeks. I have heard it usually kicks in again in the late second or early third trimester. Can’t wait!
Lots of home cooking and stocking up the kitchen.
Obviously I am a big fan of this one, as any guy would be – but don’t make the mistake of letting her go grocery shopping alone. Pregnant women’s eyes are not only bigger than their stomachs but their pantries too. The half-kilo of powdered kelp (to use in the dehydrator we don’t yet own), and massive bag of protein powder (even she couldn’t come up with a reason for this one) collecting dust in our kitchen can attest to that.
Intense research followed by online shopping sprees for household items.
This symptom can be a bit overwhelming. Some days there are emails being fired my way every few minutes with links covering everything from sheets and towels to dietary supplements and sofas. This symptom is amplified by the fact that we are renovating and she is managing the project (superwoman). I shouldn’t complain about it because her ability to compare the price of ten different brands of washing machines in less than ten seconds is proving very valuable at the moment.
Sure it can lead to quirky – and sometimes irrational – behaviour, but I love B’s nestfulness and hope it doesn’t go away after the baby comes. I feel that I am getting glimpses of her as a mother, which fill me with happiness and remind me how lucky the baby and I are to have her.
There’s more from the Daddy Diaries plus plenty of gorgeous gift inspiration on the BaoBae Blog.