New Dad Survival Guide: Taking Care Of Your Partner And Yourself

A mama taking care of a newborn baby is a tired mama. Want to help
her out? Here are a few suggestions from a fellow dad.

“I think my water broke,” she says. You take a few seconds to get over the initial shock before switching to autopilot. You rush Mama to the hospital just as rehearsed. Now, you’re pacing around in circles outside the operating room, watching the seconds tick away on the clock. Or, maybe you’re inside the operating room, palms sweaty, witnessing the miracle of childbirth. And then it happens. Congratulations! You’re officially a dad! 

You hold your bundle of joy in your arms for the first time, thinking “I’m going to love you with every fibre of my being.” Everything after that was a bit of a blur. A couple of days later, you’re back home, drowning in dirty nappies and fumbling with baby formula. It’s a lot. And, your thoughts are consumed with the well-being of this tiny, defenseless human. 

But what about the other most important person in your life? I’m talking about Mama. She just went through the beautiful, but also incredibly challenging and slightly insane process of childbirth. Between postpartum recovery, hormones and mental health, it’s a lot for anyone experience. It’s time to step up. So, here are a few tips from a fellow dad to help smooth the process.

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Food For Thought

Remember that old adage “You are what you eat”? Our food intake fuels our daily activities, and this is especially important when those activities include caring for a baby and breastfeeding. Do you cook or does someone else at home? Either way, make sure that Mama’s diet is filled up with healthy sources of:

• Protein (chicken, fish, lean pork and beef) and Fruit (oranges, strawberries, and kiwis are loaded with Vitamin C)
• Vegetables (especially leafy greens)
• Fibre-rich carbs (brown rice and sweet potatoes are great)
• Healthy fats (avocados, nuts, seeds, and full-fat yoghurt)

If you subscribe to the tenets of traditional Chinese medicine, consider incorporating ginger and garlic into Mama’s diet. These are known for their anti-inflammatory properties that can help boost Mama’s immune system. 

Above all, make sure to keep Mama hydrated. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists recommends at least three litres of water per day for breastfeeding Mamas!

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A special note on breastfeeding

The nutrients in breast milk are derived from what is passed into the blood. So, there are some foods to avoid if Mama is breastfeeding. Mercury for example, can adversely affect your baby’s brain and nervous system development. Avoid high-mercury seafood such as tuna, marlin or swordfish, and opt for salmon, cod or halibut instead.

Caffeine passes into breastmilk as well. While the amount passed is miniscule, it might still affect the baby (and we want our babies to get plenty of sleep)! The CDC recommends sticking to 300 milligrams or less per day. Alcohol is a no-no, but if it can’t be avoided, the CDC recommends no more than one drink per day and waiting at least two hours after consumption before breastfeeding. 

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Hormones, sleep and recalibration

Pregnancy hormones are no joke. The body recalibrates after childbirth, but this doesn’t happen overnight. The best way to speed up the process is to make sure Mama gets plenty of sleep! I’m sorry fellow dads, but you’re going to have to take the night shift (or at least most of them). Feed that baby, change that diaper, and get that baby back to bed. 

Sure, you’ll be tired as heck in the morning — but look at it this way — it’s a rare opportunity for you to bond with your child one-on-one. Exclusive access. Doesn’t matter if you’re not the karaoke type, go ahead and sing to your little one (lullabies, no death metal please). I promise you; your baby will love it no manner how many times you whip out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. 

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Show some love

Taking care of a newborn baby is a lot of work, and it’s so easy to get tangled up in the chaos. There’s a ticking time bomb in the next room. The baby might be sleeping now, but there are about a billion reasons why they might wake up at any moment. You and your partner are anxious, stressed, and sleep-deprived. Sometimes you might even forget to talk to each other. 

Don’t worry. The baby will be fine. After all, you and Mama are doing your best! But, it’s also important to look after yourselves. Leave her a note saying how much you appreciate her. Whisper sweet nothings into her ear. I’m not suggesting you act like teenagers on a camping trip, but it can be tough for anyone to admit that they’re feeling low when they expect to be happy. So, take a breather, and take a moment to remind each other that you’re in this together. 

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Friday night, six-thirty, Italian?

If you have the luxury of offloading your little one to a trusted family member, seize that opportunity (every once in a while)! Grandma can handle the baby for a couple of hours. Take Mama out on a date. You could both use the chance to relax and de-stress. Take a leisurely stroll along Victoria Harbour. Make a reservation at her favourite restaurant. Sit down and just talk. Talk about nothing and talk about everything. Or, talk about the baby. How the baby drives both of you crazy, and that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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The joy of giving

Nothing says “thank you” like a thoughtful gift, but it doesn’t always have to be a material one (although they could be nice, too). I’m talking about the very exciting gift of doing household chores. Not that you don’t normally split the load, but if there was ever a time to take up your partner’s share, this is it. There are countless baby bottles in the sink and piles of laundry in the basket. Someone’s got to do it! Maybe do a bit of vacuuming while you’re at it. This isn’t just about tidying up. It’s about creating serenity. A tranquil space for you, Mama, and your little one to find solace and thrive. 

And, if you’re also interested in gifting something material, maybe consider a spa package or a luxurious push present. Nothing like a nice postpartum retreat to get the body refreshed and rejuvenated!

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