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Relationship burnouts are totally normal, especially when you’ve been together for a long time. Here are practical tips from a relationship coach on how to beat it.
Balancing work, kids, chores and a relationship can take its toll. In the midst of it all, it’s natural to sometimes feel disconnected from your partner. But if you’ve been feeling this way for a while, you and your partner could be facing relationship burnout. As the never-ending demands of daily life mount up, that spark and the feeling of love may have faded into fatigue, but this definitely doesn’t mean it’s the end of the relationship, it simply means you need to set aside some time for yourselves to rekindle the romance. But also, if the problem persists, it’s always okay to seek professional help. Below are five practical tips to reignite the spark in your relationship.
Read More: Where To Find Counselling Psychologists And Therapists In Hong Kong
Listen To Your Own Needs
As busy Hong Kong Mamas, it’s all too easy to pour everything into our partners and kids while neglecting to fill our own cups. That’s why it’s important to pause, reflect and troubleshoot where and when things started to feel off-balance.
Once you’ve gained some valuable self-insights, it’s time to implement a recharge plan. Schedule some solo ‘me time’ without distractions to rediscover inner peace (we know, this is easier said that then but you got this!). Then, approach your partner from a place of calm confidence to share what really lights your fire and find out how to better meet each other’s needs.
Let Go Of Control And Trust Your Partner To Lead
Below are some tips on learning to let go:
- Journal your thoughts, or find a medium that expresses you. Try and figure your non-negotiables and what you’re comfortable letting go of, start with something small and work your way from there.
- Notice any patterns around what pushes your buttons.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate!
Prioritise Your Space
While together time is important, too much closeness without a balance of me-time will leave you feeling frazzled faster than you can say ‘I need a break!’. Understandably, us Mamas find it more difficult to create some time just for ourselves but nothing is impossible!
Let go of mom guilt and cultivate your wellbeing. Plan your spa getaway (new nails always help!), pick up a new hobby and get moving (either a walk, a proper workout sesh or yoga).
Fire It Up! Bring The Spark Back
Whether it’s acts of service or quality time that do it for you both, keep those desires well-fed! Let your freak flags fly freely to bring back the excitement you once had as a couple.
You could try recreating your favourite date, reminiscing old photos, trying something new in the bedroom, planning a date night (at home or at your favourite romantic restaurant) – finding activities you both enjoy and spending quality time together, minus all the distractions. Find the intimacy and hold to it. Also take the time to understand each other’s love language, it could have changed over the years (you never know!).
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
Reigning the spark takes two.
Facing challenges as a united front will deepen your sense of security and partnership. Know that you’re in this together and that you can rely on your partner to make this work.
Read More: Going Back To Work After Having A Baby – 6 Tips From A Hong Kong Mum
For more information, read on to our sister site’s, Sassy’s article on relationship burnouts written by Nathalie Sommer.
