Is it the norm for helpers to eat with the family? My apartment isn’t big, so I don’t really feel comfortable asking her to eat in the kitchen or her room, but we don’t get much family time together so want to spend it catching up wherever possible!
It is not the norm for helpers to eat with the family, but it is not unusual. Remember that she is an employee, and certainly most helpers would never expect to eat at the employers’ table.
While you may feel uncomfortable with her eating in the kitchen or in her room, she most probably will not. There are also variations, where helpers eat with the family one day a week, or on their birthday, or with the children when the parents are out.
It depends very much on how you feel about your helper being at the table. It also depends on how your helper feels about sitting at the table. Many helpers feel deeply uncomfortable with such a thing. You’re the boss, so you decide on house rules.
While you should be kind and respectful to your helper, she is not a houseguest and you are not required to be “social”.